Photo by Chris Lawton on Unsplash
The past year has been hard, very hard for all of us. It has been a time of uncertainty and change, not to mention worry, with glimpses of hope and anticipation. Our routines have been disrupted and our lives have been upended, and at times it has felt burdensome. But through it all, we have pushed on and persevered.
Personally, this has been a year of many firsts – my first experience of the loss of family, my first move during a pandemic, my first blog, the first time that I have focused on my well-being. A mixed bag of grief, sadness and loss sprinkled with the occasional precious moments of joy and happiness.
The lessons I learned this year have been difficult and I am still grappling with some of them. I hope to emerge on the other side as a wiser, calmer, and kinder individual – with perspective from experience.
Change and Uncertainty
At the start of 2020, we were planning to move to another country. But, come moving time in March, with travel restrictions, lockdowns, and all the chaos, we were making decisions by the minute. The uncertainty of what happens next was looming large. There was no concrete plan anymore.
We were fortunate to safely get to the new place but just like everything this year, it wasn’t easy. What I realize though is that faced with our own individual challenges, most of us have become a little more accommodating, considerate, and kind. As we were settling down, we were the grateful recipients of patience, kindness, and understanding.
The lesson here is that change is tough, but it is a constant feature of our lives. So get comfortable with change, embrace it, else life will feel like an uphill battle.
Losing a Loved One
In the first few months of moving, we lost a family member who had been unwell for a while. Being halfway around the world and unable to travel to be with family, coupled with the fact that this situation was a first for us – it was the toughest time of our lives. I learned that this kind of a loss leaves behind a void in the heart, an empty space and a constant ache. It felt horrible, wrong, and indecent that life went on without my loved one.
Value what you have in your life. Acknowledge and appreciate it because it may not be there tomorrow. Say what you need to say and do all that you want to do now – don’t wait for the ‘right’ time. I learned that in the end what we regret the most are the words said or left unspoken, the deeds done or left undone. Give time and attention to the people that matter to you because that is the best gift you can give yourself and a loved one.
Cultivate a Routine and Faith
I learned that the two things that can help you get through the ups and downs of life are a daily routine and faith.
Having a familiar daily routine provides some sense of control and order in an otherwise chaotic world. Wallowing in my grief, I made the mistake of letting go of my routine. Forcing myself to reclaim the routine, a little each day, helped a great deal.
Also, no matter your belief or your religion, faith or a spiritual practice grounds you. It provides the wisdom to accept that no matter what happens, life goes on and all will be fine. Life may be different than how you had hoped, dreamed, or anticipated, but it will not come to a stop. Faith offers perspective, wisdom and the understanding to trust the higher power.
Importance of Family and Friends
Through the turbulent times, it has been comforting to lean on my little family. Loss and grief have bonded us – we care, grieve, love, share, and strive together. I realize that having each other has been an invaluable support structure. I couldn’t imagine living through these times all by myself.
Relationships need a lot of work and sacrifice. But all the hard work, adjustments, and compromises over the years are well worth this support. Knowing that I don’t have to endure the pain alone is an immense relief and a gift in itself.
The true value of relationships is tested and revealed during the tough times.
Gratitude for Every Single Day
I am grateful for every single day that I get to experience this gift of life. Faced with the death of a loved one and the times we were living in, I found myself reflecting about my own mortality. I came to the conclusion that no matter what I did, there would be an end. But in the meantime, I could either choose to honor these precious moments and live life or live in the perpetual fear of death.
I also realized that till now, I have lived as if I have forever to do everything I want to. But faced with impermanence, I know that today is a blessing, while tomorrow is not a guarantee.
Endings and Beginnings
While this year marked some endings, whether temporary or permanent, it was also a year of new beginnings – the most exciting being the start of my blog. This little corner of the internet gives me the space to express, connect and share. It gives me the chance to explore the meaning of life.
Each time I write I hope that someone, somewhere may find it useful. It is my hope that you find that while we all go through similar situations, often our understanding and interpretations are quite different. It has been my endeavor to leave you with questions to ponder on, to uplift and to provide some hope and perspective through this blog. I am excited to see where this journey leads me. A heartfelt thank you to all of you, for joining me on this journey and for giving me your time!
The year 2020 has changed me in many ways. I have become more appreciative of the little joys of life and the bonds I share with friends and family. I am beginning to understand the impermanence of everything around me. I live each day with a deep sense of gratitude for all there is. I also learned that adapting to change and persevering are often the only options in life – the reward of which is resilience, a very valuable trait indeed.
Here’s hoping that the next calendar year will be full of hope, health, love, and joy for all of us.